You’ll never get what you want until you answer that question first.
Luckily, it’s easier to figure out than what you DO want.
Because while it’s hard to decide what you want from an infinite menu of possibilities, what you don’t want is easily found in your actual experiences.
You know what you don’t like about your current situation.
You know what annoyed you about previous things you’ve done.
And you know what you’d like more (and less) of moving forward.
That information is gold.
Use it as a filter for every decision you make.
Doing so will prevent you from wasting time, effort, and resources pursuing a path that leads to something you won’t enjoy.
3 ways to implement this:
1. Create a Not-To-Do list.
This is a list of things you’ve decided not to do.
It should include micro and macro elements.
For example:
A micro element might be you decide not to check social media in the morning.
A macro element might be you decide not to do any work that requires a weekly call with clients.
The process of creating a Not-To-Do list forces you to consider what you don’t want and the existence of the list frees you from needing to make every decision on a case-by-case basis.
It’s a valuable (free) asset.
2. Incorporate “Without” into your goal statement.
The things you don’t want to do are a PART of your overall goal.
So incorporate it into your own goal statement by adding the word “without” to the end of your goal.
For example:
“My goal is to do X without doing Y.”
This makes any goal you set more specific, accurate, and likely to lead you to a place you actually want to be.
3. Ask people who have what you (think) you want what they don’t like about it.
You’ll never know what it’s like to have something until you have it.
So talk to someone who already has it.
Ask what their situation is really like and assess if there are things about it you might not want or enjoy.
Ask what about their situation they wish didn’t exist.
Then use what you learn to gain more clarity about what you don’t want.
And act accordingly.